Sunday, May 26, 2019 Text is available under the CC BY-SA 3.0 licence.

Henny Youngman (1906 – 1998)

Comedian and violinist famous for "one-liners", short simple jokes usually delivered rapid-fire.
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Henny Youngman
My wife and I went to a hotel where we got a waterbed. My wife called it the Dead Sea.
Youngman quotes
The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret.
My wife is on a new diet. Coconuts and bananas. She hasn't lost weight, but can she climb a tree.

Youngman Henny quotes
My wife told me the car wasn't running well. There was water in the carburetor. I asked where the car was, and she told me it was in the lake.
Youngman Henny
I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back.
Henny Youngman quotes
Take my wife - please!
Henny Youngman
We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.
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