Tuesday, October 17, 2017 Text is available under the CC BY-SA 3.0 licence.

Artemus Ward (1834 – 1867)


Nom de plume of Charles Farrar Browne, an American humorous writer.
Page 1 of 1
Artemus Ward
N.B. This is rote sarcastikul.
Ward quotes
My pollertics, like my religion, being of an exceedin' accommodatin' character.
Ward
The Puritans nobly fled from a land of despotism to a land of freedim, where they could not only enjoy their own religion, but could prevent everybody else from enjoyin his.




Ward Artemus quotes
They cherish his mem'ry, and them as sell picturs of his birthplace, etc., make it prof'tible cherishin' it.
Ward Artemus
He is dreadfully married. "He's the most married man I ever saw in my life."
Artemus Ward quotes
The female woman is one of the greatest institooshuns of which this land can boste.
Artemus Ward
Did you ever have the measels, and if so, how many?
Ward Artemus quotes
...their eyes sparkled like diminds, their cheeks was like roses, and they was charmin enuff to make a man throw stuns at his granmother, if they axed him to.
Ward
I now bid you a welcome adoo.
Ward Artemus
Why is this thus? What is the reason of this thusness?
Artemus Ward
The prevailin' weakness of most public men is to Slop over. G. Washington never slopt over.




Artemus Ward quotes
The fack can't be no longer disgised that a Krysis is onto us.
Artemus Ward
The sun has a right to "set" where it wants to, and so, I may add, has a hen.
Ward quotes
I can't sing. As a singist I am not a success. I am saddest when I sing. So are those who hear me. They are sadder even than I am.
Ward Artemus
I am not a politician, and my other habits are good, also.
Ward Artemus quotes
Let us all be happy and live within our means, even if we have to borrow the money to do it with.
Page 1 of 1


© 2009–2013Quotes Privacy Policy | Contact