Jonathan Ross: Good to see you

 

Jonathan Ross: Good to see you - how's it hanging?
Julian Clary: Oh, very well thank you. Very nice of you to recreate Hampstead Heath for me here [laughter]. As a matter of fact, I've just been visting Norman Lamont ... [prolonged laughter]
Ross: Let me ask you Julian ...
Clary: Talk about a red box.

 

Norman Lamont

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When the people of Antioch taunted the emperor toward the end of his life with attacks on his beard, he replied in a work full of sarcasm and ironic self-disparagement. The Misopogon (Beard-Hater) … as Julian warmed to his bitter irony, he declared that he seldom cut his hair or nails, "and if you would like to learn anything that is usually a secret, my shaggy chest is covered with hair, like the breasts of lions who are kings among beasts". Julian's unsettling laughter can be heard throughout the Misopogon. … He was a man of ostentatious simplicity. Julian boasted of his ascetism in response to the Antiochenes' charges of boorish and uncivilized behavior: "Sleepless nights on straw and a diet that is anything but filling make my character austere and an enemy to a luxurious city." As a philosopher transformed in Gaul into a soldier, Julian repudiated luxury and disciplined himself beyond the capabilities of most men. … The abstinence of Julian was universally acknowledged by friend and foe alike, and it is an important feature of the austerity of Julian's life.

 

Julian (Emperor)

 

[to Jonathan Ross] I might be 3,000 years old, but I can hear!

 

Bruce Forsyth

 

[When asked if people think he and Julian Barratt are a couple] A lot of people want to think that. We found some gay porn, didn't we, Julian? [...] It was me sucking Julian's cock. Or was it him sucking mine? Anyway, it was really disturbing. So we may turn it into an episode in series three.

 

Noel Fielding

 

Laughter is the Wild Body's song of triumph.
2. Laughter is the climax in the tragedy of seeing, hearing and smelling self-consciously.
3. Laughter is the bark of delight of a gregarious animal at the proximity of its kind.
4. Laughter is an independent, tremendously important, and lurid emotion.
5. Laughter is the representative of Tragedy, when Tragedy is away.
6. Laughter is the emotion of tragic delight.
7. Laughter is the female of Tragedy.
8. Laughter is the strong elastic fish, caught in Styx, springing and flapping about until it dies.
9. Laughter is the sudden handshake of mystic violence and the anarchist.
10. Laughter is the mind sneezing.
11. Laughter is the one obvious commotion that is not complex, or in expression dynamic.
12. Laughter does not progress. It is primitive, hard and unchangeable.

 

Wyndham Lewis

 

Julian is without question one of antiquity's most enigmatic and compelling figures. He attempted the impossible by restoring for a moment the pagan gods to their former primacy, a feat which horrified the Christians and probably perplexed rather than inspired the majority of surviving pagans.
Julian was a man of action and at the same time a man whose spiritual life brought him close to many of the most extreme wonder-workers of his age. … Anyone who believes that he can write an authoritative biography of Julian, with everything tidily in place from beginning to end, is deluding himself. The historian can only grope toward the facts about the man and his reign, but the groping is its own reward.

 

Julian (Emperor)