Saturday, April 20, 2024 Text is available under the CC BY-SA 3.0 licence.

Neil Simon

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You're welcome to take a bath. You look like the second week of the garbage strike.
--
Evy, in The Gingerbread Lady (1970); cited from The Collected Plays of Neil Simon (New York: Random House, 1971) vol. 2, p. 76.

 
Neil Simon

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Nor do I think we came from monkeys, by the way...That's another piece of garbage. What the hell's it based on? We couldn't've come from anything--fish, maybe, but not monkeys. I don't believe in the evolution of fish to monkeys to men. Why aren't monkeys changing into men now? It's absolute garbage. It's absolutely irrational garbage, as mad as the ones who believe the world was made only four thousand years ago, the fundamentalists.
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