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Mike Lange

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(Insert Goaltender here) doesn't know whether to cry or wind his watch.
--
As noted on Sports Center's Top 10 Mike Lange Signature calls (undated)

 
Mike Lange

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I watch the boats go by
As the evening colours of the sand
The rain is bringing tears
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I watch the silver stars
melt in love with the sea
I cry to the wind:
– Bring back my lover to me! -

 
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I'm on the Internet a lot more than I watch TV and most everybody I know is, and yet if you watch most late-night talk shows, it's as if it doesn't even exist. So the Internet, it's just something I wanted to make use of in some way. I was fascinated by what appeared to be a child singing this song. It just struck me as funny.

 
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There was a guy down in Florida who said that, at the age of 53 years old, he was in good enough physical condition to withstand the wind, rain and hail of a force-3 hurricane. Now, let me explain somethin' to ya: it isn't that the wind is blowin', it's what the wind is blowin'. If you get hit by a Volvo, it doesn't matter how many sit-ups you did that morning. If you have a "Yield" sign in your spleen, joggin' don't really come into play. "I can run 25 miles without stopping." "You're bleedin'." "Shit!"

 
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I honestly don't understand the big fuss made over nudity and sex in films. It's silly. On TV, the children can watch people murdering each other, which is a very unnatural thing, but they can't watch two people in the very natural process of making love. Now, really, that doesn't make any sense, does it?

 
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