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Mark Joseph Edwards

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"In fact, using IE is like painting a bull's-eye on your forehead and walking into a war zone."
--
"No reason to rush your upgrade to IE 8" in the Newsletter Issue 192, Windows Secrets, April 2, 2009, retrieved April 2, 2009

 
Mark Joseph Edwards

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Now, I'm very vulnerable to female beauty, as you know. Everybody's defenseless against something, and that's it for me. I see it and it blinds me to everything else. They come to my first class, and I know almost immediately which is the girl for me. There is a Mark Twain story in which he runs from a bull, and the bull looks up to him when he's hiding in a tree, and the bull thinks, "You are my meat, sir." Well, that "sir" is transformed into "young lady" when I see them in class.

 
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"Walking about? With a hole in his forehead full of maggots" "Aye. It were like a damn fisherman's tub."

 
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Apparently, even crazy people prefer targets that can't shoot back. The reason schools are consistently popular targets for mass murderers is precisely because of all the idiotic "Gun-Free School Zone" laws.
From the people who brought you "zero tolerance," I present the Gun-Free Zone! Yippee! Problem solved! Bam! Bam! Everybody down! Hey, how did that deranged loner get a gun into this Gun-Free Zone?

 
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"4 example the other day i saw a black person walking down the street and i was like "omg a negro" but instead of walking on the other side i said "what would rumsfeld do?" so i stayed on the sidewalk. when he came up to me i wanted to show him that i have no problems with people of color so i said "hey" and offered him my spare change before he could even ask."

 
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Mark how my fame rings out from zone to zone:
A thousand critics shouting: "He's unknown!"

 
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