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Keith Richards

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New Rule: Airplane black boxes must now be made out of Keith Richards. The man, who has taken more drugs than Whitney Houston, Rush Limbaugh and Robert Downey, Jr., combined, recently fell out of a tree, and then crashed a jet ski. And yet, somehow, that cigarette never fell out of his mouth. What is this guy still running on? I've got to know. Because I'm beginning to think the future of medicine isn't injecting stem cells, it's injecting heroin.
--
Real Time with Bill Maher, 12 May 2006 (Season 7, Episode 9)

 
Keith Richards

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I was reading an interview with Keith Richards in a magazine and in the interview Keith Richards intimated that kids should not do drugs. Keith Richards! Says that kids should not do drugs! Keith, we can't do any more drugs because you already f**king did them all, alright! There's none left! We have to wait 'till you die and smoke your ashes! Jesus Christ! Talk about the pot and the f**kin' kettle.

 
Keith Richards
 

I was reading an interview with Keith Richards in a magazine and in the interview Keith Richards intimated that kids should not do drugs. Keith Richards! Says that kids should not do drugs! Keith, we can't do any more drugs because you already f**king did them all, alright? There's none left! We have to wait 'til you die and smoke your ashes! Jesus Christ! Talk about the pot and the f**kin' kettle.

 
Denis Leary
 

Keith Richards is shooting heroin into his eyeballs and still touring all right! I'm getting mixed signals! I picture nuclear war and two things surviving: Keith and cockroaches! (does Keith Richards impression) "Where did everybody go-o? I saw a bright light and thought we were on ..."

 
Keith Richards
 

...how come Keith Richards still walks? Explain that Mr. Surgeon General! You never mention Keith do you? Aah, a little hole in the theory there! Surgeon General says "Drugs are bad, drugs are evil!...except for that guy, they work real good for him, -but the rest of you...

 
Keith Richards
 

Airing anti-Rush Limbaugh commercials during the Rush Limbaugh show would only conflict with the listeners who have chosen to listen to Rush Limbaugh.

 
Rush Limbaugh
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