I prefer big Oprah. I know Oprah wants to be skinny Oprah, but her head is too gigantic to fit on a skinny body. She has to accept that, like Kirstie Alley, she was meant to be...ahm....voluptuous!
Kathy Griffin
» Kathy Griffin - all quotes »
Oprah is different. Oprah has an army out there that really listens. She's one of the great marketing machines in history.
Oprah Winfrey
Cause you know my joke is that I love her (Oprah Winfrey) but she thinks she's Jesus? And when she gets a paper cut she's like "Oh, stigmata?". No, Oprah. Get off the cross and do your show!
Kathy Griffin
Don't do that... By the way, this is not Oprah furniture; you jump on this, and it will be firewood... Oprah's got the real thing, this stuff...this is about as real as that [points to cityscape backdrop] right there.
Craig Ferguson
Oprah is rich, Bill Gates is wealthy. If Bill Gates woke up tomorrow with Oprah's money, he'd jump out a f**kin' window and slit his throat on the way down saying, "I can't even put gas in my plane!"
Chris Rock
The problem is, when Oprah lost all that weight, her head didn't get any smaller. And so she looks kind of like a person carrying a balloon.
Dave Barry
Griffin, Kathy
Griffin, Kenneth
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