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Jimmy Kimmel

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I'm not seen as classy enough to host the Oscars.
--
Chris Ayres (March 6, 2008) The Times, "Sex, lies and YouTube - Interview", p. 24.

 
Jimmy Kimmel

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In November, America elected a black man president after two disastrous terms of George W. Bush. Race was transcended. People were so angry that they tossed aside centuries-old prejudices. [...] Last night, America witnessed a non-comedian hosting the Oscars after two calamitous stints by you, Jon Stewart: The George W. Bush of Comedy. Jon, you angered the world so much they were willing to completely redefine their concept of what an Oscars host should be. And like a phoenix from the ashes of the two massive turds you laid on that stage, rose Hugh Jackman.

 
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The only acting you ever see at the Oscars is when people act like they're not mad they lost. Nicole Kidman was smiling so wide, she should have won an Emmy at the Oscars for her great performance. I was like, "If you'd done that in the movie, you'd have won an Oscar, girl."

 
Chris Rock
 

The parasite has somehow evolved to turn off the host's defenses, presumably by disarming the crab's immune response with some chemical trickery that fools the host into accepting the parasite as part of itself. ...The adult parasite castrates the host, not by directly eating the gonadal tissue, but by some unknown mechanism probably involving penetration of the interna's roots around and into the crab's nervous system.

 
Stephen Jay Gould
 

Is it better to look classy or act classy? Act. But one follows the other.

 
Jack Terricloth
 

That's here on CBS, where the 'C' stands for 'Classy' and the 'BS' speaks for itself.

 
Craig Ferguson
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