Monday, February 24, 2020 Text is available under the CC BY-SA 3.0 licence.

Dennis Miller

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Hey folks, tonight I wanna talk about global warming. Now, The World is Hot and Flat Society is growing increasingly hysterical and that indeed is causing me to sweat a little. In the last month or so, I've heard suggestions that those skeptical of Al Gore's spiritual crisis are deniers and one good way to serve the planet would be to have one less kid and I've also read that mankind is 'a virus' and human beings are 'the AIDS of the earth.' Global warming is officially becoming creepy and I can't tell yet if it's facisitc or fetishistic but it's kinda like piercing or tattoos, I don't even wanna get one, because I see how hooked people are and it spooks me. I just find it odd that we've come to a point in history where if I don't concede that if Manhattan will be completely submerged in 2057 I'm thought to be a delusional contrarian by some of my more zealous fellow citizens. I'm sorry Angst Squad, but if we commissioned a public works project (let's call it 'The Manhattan Project') and tried our hardest to submerge Manhattan in the next 50 years, we couldn't pull it off, mainly because it wouldn't be environmentally sound and you guys would hang it up in the permitting process. Simply put, I can't worry about the earth right now because I'm too worried about the world. Why can't I take terrorism as seriously as Al Gore takes global warming? There are times that you think that liberals only fear car bombs if they have leaky exhaust systems. And why am I constantly beaten over the head with 'the delicate balance of nature'? Am I the only one who watches Animal Planet? Every time I turn it on, I see some demented harp seal chucking peguins down his gullet like they were maitre d'Tic-Tacs. To me, nature always appears more unbalanced than Gary Busey with a clogged eustachian tube. Listen, the weather is just like Hilary's explanation for her war vote: we just don't know, do we? We're here to miss our next Tuesday's weather much less the year 2057. Relax, we'll replace oil when we need to. American ingenuity will kick in and the next great fortune will be made. It's not pretty, but it is historically accurate. We need to run out of oil first. That's why I drive an SUV: so we run out of it more quickly. I consider myself at the vanguard of the environmental movement and I think the individuals who insist on driving hybrids are just prolonging our dillemma and I think that's just selfish. Come on, don't you care about our Mother Earth? Don'tcha?
--
6/17 The Half Hour News Hour

 
Dennis Miller

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i just realized that i hadn't posted about the film "An Inconvenient Truth." for those of you who don't know, this movie talks about global warming. i went into the movie a little skeptical, wondering if i was going to be preached at by al gore, the narrator and spokesperson for the film. it's a documentary, too, so i wasn't expecting anything too exciting. as it turns out, this movie is a must-see. it's not about al gore, tree-hugging hippies, george clooney, julia roberts, george bush, or U.S. issues. this film and the movement surrounding it is about being aware of the nasty turn our world and weather seems to be taking, and what we can do to turn it around before we ruin the only pace we have to live. the information in this film is shocking. parts of our planet that i assumed were covered in ice are now melting, and the photos of these places, seen in the movie, make me nervous. the links from this past year's natural disasters to the overall direction of global warming is an issue that is worth looking at. the ten hottest years ever measured were in the last 14 years. the hottest was last year, but it doesn't take a genius to tell that this year is hotter.

 
Mike Shinoda
 

Al Gore's not going to be rounding up Jews and exterminating them. It is the same tactic, however. The goal is different. The goal is globalization. The goal is global carbon tax.ÖYou need to have fear. You needed to have the fear of starvation. You needed to have the fear of the whole place going to hell in a handbasket. Which ó do we have that fear now with global warming?ÖThen you have to discredit the scientists that say "That's not right." And you must silence all dissenting voices. That's what Hitler did. That's what Al Gore, the U.N., and everybody on the global warming bandwagon [are doing].

 
Glenn Beck
 

A consensus has emerged in our scientific community that global warming is no longer merely a theory but a reality, a crisis with truly global implications for planet Earth and all of us who share it. - Told to thousands at the New Jersey concert for Live Earth

 
Leonardo DiCaprio
 

One thing I try to point out to people, and Dick Lindzen has pointed this out in the past, too, is that, as most of you probably know, about ninety percent of the earthís greenhouse effect is water vapor, then carbon dioxide, methane and some trace gases. The water vapor con-centration in the atmosphere goes up and down quite a bit, but it is self-regulating. Things donít get too warm before precipitation systems suck the water vapor out again. I donít understand how we can know how much warming there will be with global warming until we understand how precipitation systems change with warming. We donít under-stand that, and I have papers from modelers who have said the same thing. Modelers donít like to talk about what they donít know. So until we understand these natural proc-esses that remove the earthís primary greenhouse gas, water vapor, from the atmosphere Ė which is a self-regulating part of the earth keeping a constant temperature Ė I donít think we can predict how much warming there will be due to increasing CO2. It is a mat-ter of faith again, I think. We are not saying that we donít believe that there can be sig-nificant global warming. As John said, if you add CO2, something has to change. But things are changing all the time anyway. The big question is: So what? How much is it going to change, compared to other things? And what can you do about it?

 
Roy Spencer
 

To me, nature always appears more unbalanced than Gary Busey with a clogged Eustachian tube.

 
Dennis Miller
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